This Is My Life

This is my life. 

I wake up feeling weary but content this morning, sit on the floor in the living room and let the two littlest squeeze onto my lap.  Brendon looks up at me and says, “You gots two boys in your lap.” I nod sleepily and smile at him. 

My morning coffee gently lifts me from my stupor and I begin to feel foolishly confident and inspired… this is the day I will clean the entire house in a way I have not been able to clean in several weeks, for various personal and impersonal reasons. I will not let the boys slow me down, I will even get them involved, somehow. 

Zachary takes over the glass cleaning with great vigor, using much more than he really needs and then venturing out mid-task into the lawn to kill the poison ivy with the blue stuff, forgetting to wipe the mess off the sliding glass door.  I trade the Windex out for a spray bottle full of water and leave him to his own devices. 

 Between scrubbing sinks and sweeping floors, I change two stinky diapers and wipe snotty noses—everyone but me has a summer cold.  I run loads of laundry, pick up toys, dust the top of my husband’s dresser. 

 I work with fever and increasing frustration.  They keep slowing me down, coming to me with pleas for milk and snacks and complaints of injury, both self and brother-inflicted.   The almost two-year-old begs to drink out a real cup, and I must sit there on the kitchen floor supervising while he focuses hard on getting the milk down his throat and not his shirt.  He finishes, satisfied, smacking his lips and saying, “Milk, cup, milk, cup.”  Last night, by his own insistence, he slept in the toddler bed all night long.  His babyness is quickly being overtaken by his strong desires to be and to do everything his brothers are and do.

Naptime comes at last, and with it a sure confidence that I will have at least two hours of peace.  No such thing.  Shortly after three they are all up, and it doesn’t take long to figure out they never really slept, but they are up and it is too late to try again.  I was counting on that time alone, and deprived of it I feel lost and frustrated. 

They are wild but grouchy, not a pretty combination, the laundry is not yet finished, and I have no idea what to do to keep them busy, which is the only way to keep them out of trouble.  Zachary and Christopher are chasing each other around the house, running in and out their bedroom where I am trying to make beds and fold clothes.

  I think to myself, “A really good mom would do all this calmly and cheerfully, cleaning up and keeping the kids occupied at the same time.  But I don’t have it in me right me.  I just can’t do it by myself. ”   I call Steven and ask him if he can come home, I need help.  He says okay, and I ask him to order pizza while he’s at it.

I read this afternoon in Psalms that God “fulfills the desire of those who fear him; he also hears their cry and saves them.”  So I decide to test this truth.  I pray out loud to God, asking Him to make the boys behave and help me have a good attitude, to help me make to bedtime.  Then I calmly lock the door and tell Zachary to stay out until I finish my job.  He is not happy.  He wants to be in the middle of the action, but he will have to get over it. 

Steven arrives, puts shoes on little feet, changes a diaper, and takes them all to pick up the pizza.  He tells me to enjoy my fifteen minutes alone, to paint my nails and take a nap (ha).  He puts them all in the van and comes back in for a minute. He takes me in his arms and tells me he loves me, then says, “Hmmm, I think I’ll stay here…” I laugh a slightly hysterical laugh, relieved that he is not angry I called him away from his work and that we still have our sense of humor.  

“Let’s just leave them locked in the van.”

“The air-conditioning is on.” 

“See you later.”

Headache

Have you ever felt this way?

Strawberry Pickin’ Good

These are the berries, that I decided to pick on impulse, that turned into a three-day project, that ended up as 20 jars of jam and 4 big bags of frozen whole berries for future enjoyment.  These are the two boys, who arrived at the field armed with buckets and much enthusiasm, who quickly tired of trying to pick the crazy little things and ended up playing in the van for two hours while I picked in peace. 

The Littlest Greeter

 A few Sundays ago Brendon decided to start greeting people at the door as they came to church.  He even shook hands with them, and when they didn’t see him at first he would stand there saying, “HI, HI, HI!”  They were charmed.

Appalachian Spring

It’s been a week since I got back from my very first Girls-Only Vacation with my very special friend Jenny.  I dropped off the two littlest guys in Dayton with Steven’s parents, and I took Zachary to Nashville, TN to be with my parents for the week.  Then Jenny flew to Nashville from Spokane on Monday, and we drove to my parents’ vacation home in Crossville, TN to have our week of girls-only relaxation.  Let me tell you, it was purrfect…Monday I spent the day with Zach and my parents in Franklin, where I used to live.  Tuesday, we sat in the sun on the lake beach, then did a little shopping at the outlets.  A little meditative grilling, a lot of homemade tiramisu, a great play called “Flight of the Lawnchair Man,” and hours of great conversation and just hangin’ out.  Lots of coffee and classical music and sleep.  No schedules, no whining children, no noise.  Just rest.  Just what we needed.  I highly recommend doing this for yourself if you ever get the chance (or make the chance).  We’re doing it again next year!

Can you tell I’m relaxed?

My Dream Job

Do you ever watch The View on ABC? I know you know what I’m talking about.  And yes, I can hardly ever watch it for more than about 3 minutes(if I make it past the opening credits) before I get mad at their insane liberal feminist comments or just plain ignorance, especially regarding God and conservatism.  Elizabeth is the only real voice of reason, but sometimes even she lets me down.  However, I do watch it every once in a while just for the grownup girl talk and the laughs. 

One day I figured out why I like it–it is every woman’s dream job.  Think about it.  They get up every morning and go to work without makeup, and stylists spend a couple hours doing their hair, face, wardrobe.  Then they sashay on stage to cheering and applause, sit down, and drink coffee while spouting off opinions and ideas with three other lively, intelligent women. 

So I came up with a brilliant idea.  We conservative girls should have our own show!  I’m not sure what to call it, maybe The Other View, or A Different View, or A New Look.  We could talk about truth and reality, and we could drink hazelnut capuccinos and get applauded for it.  Or booed at.  But of course we would fill our audience with mostly Christians who agree with us. :)  What do you say?  Are you with me?

Signs of Spring

Glowing green grass, dapper daffodils, and… souped-up pickup trucks?  All hours of the night and day, our new neighbors and their friends are “playing with their toys” (their words, not mine).  The goal is to get the ugliest brown pickup you can find, preferably mud-colored, to sound like a jet engine, only rougher and smokier, and then to make it able to pull gradually-increasing weights back and forth for hours in the great sport they have around here called the tractor pull.  People camp out for the day so they can watch this fascinating spectacle.  If your truck or tractor wins, you get $25, which covers the entrance fee.  I don’t get it.

April Foolies

Mowing the Linoleum

Zachary: Upon reading Patch the Pirate’s scripture-filled salvation testimony on his website, Zachary wrote in the comments and questions section, “im saved too”.  Now I KNOW he gets it!

Also, Zachary’s idea of a really funny April fool “trick”: A note under Daddy’s pillow that says, “Christmas Day.  Don’t work today.  For: Dad   From: Zach Shaw

Brendon: Upon successfully piddling in the potty, “I a supew-hewo.” 

Christopher: Upon running across the room and  deliberately throwing himself on the floor, then getting back up, “Heheheh, ‘at’s fun-hee!”

Easter Bliss

Zachary trying to hold it all together

Christopher coming around

Christopher finally content, Brendon’s had enough

Steven’s sister Stephanie, with Heidi, 10 weeks old–a girl at last, after 1 girl and 3 boys!

Count them–there are 8, age 7 and under.  From Left: Benjamin (3), Brendon (3), Zachary (5) with Heidi, Peter (5), Samantha (7) with Christopher (1), Phillip (2)

Our Easter Afternoon, For Your Edification: (all times are approximate)

12:45  Come home and get dinner on the table with help from Samantha while Steph feeds the baby and Steven and Thomas change the boys’ clothes

1:00 Give Christopher, Phillip, and Ben their food so they can get started and make things easier for the rest of us later

1:05 Fix plates for other 4 kids and put rest of food on table for grownups to serve themselves

1:10 We sit down, pray, and serve ourselves.  Baby is fussing on Steph’s lap because of upset tummy.  She gets up several times to take care of the baby.  I put Christopher down for a nap, because he is not eating, and Thomas puts Phillip down for a nap

1:15  Kids are done eating and go in the garage (our playroom) to play

1:20 Just as we get almost to dessert, Ben falls on something (he says it’s the rubbermaid toybox) and gets a huge gash over his eye. Steph, who is about to put Heidi down for a nap, rushes out with baby in arms and goes to Ben.  I take baby from Steph and put baby on floor in room with Phillip.  Steph calls her mom (a nurse) to ask what she should do–it’s a pretty big cut with lots of blood.  Finally Ben rests on recliner with bandaid on head.

1:24  Peter, disturbed and distracted by his brother’s trauma, squats down and poops in his pants.  Thomas takes him out to change him.  He comes out asking me if I have any size 5 underwear, pants, and wipes.  I look in drawer and laundry room and come out and say, “I don’t have any clean underwear.  Potty training has wiped them out.  I mean, the boys don’t have any clean underwear.”  So Peter gets to wear a pullup.

1:45 Brendon, Christopher, Phillip,and Heidi are all lying down, so I fix blackberry pie and ice cream and we sit down to eat. 

1:50  Phillip and Heidi wake up and start crying, and both Thomas and Steph go in to quiet them.

2:00 I am still in kitchen, cleaning up.  Steph comes out and says Thomas told her to go visit her friend even though the kids are not back to sleep yet, so I tell her run while she has the chance.

3:00  I lie down and try to rest but cannot sleep because the kids are hollering in the garage and Heidi is crying again

4:00 Steph comes home and feeds Heidi, then comes out into the living room and we talk for about 10 minutes

5:00 We feed everybody and dress them and get them to church right at the last minute.

Total time of adult conversation: Maybe 30 minutes combined

The amazing thing is, none of this really fazes me anymore.  I’ve just learned to expect chaos when we all get together!  It’s all about the kids right now, especially the babies.  At least when they get to be 5 and 6 they go off and play together.  This time was a little easier for me, too, because I was on my own turf and my kids could nap in their beds.  I don’t know how my sister-in-law does it.  I do know one thing for sure–the more young children you have in one place, the more potential you have for disaster and mayhem!  It was fun anyway, and someday we will all laugh about it.  As Christopher would say, “Heheheheh, ‘at funh-ee!”

Joyful Resurrection Day To You!

Just wanted to wish a very Happy Easter to all of you out there!  I have always loved Easter, even though every year our traditions seem to change.  I love the joyful meaning of the day, I love the promise of hope and new life, and I love the 50% off Easter candy the following week. :)  

 Right now it’s snowing outside (I miss Southern spring), so I guess there will be no Easter egg hunts for us.  I didn’t even try to dye eggs with the boys this year. It’s just too chaotic with them right now.  I can just see the dye all over the carpet and the eggs all cracked and piled in a heap. 

We always had new Easter dresses when I was a kid, and so I have searched high and low for coordinating outfits for the boys this year.  I got it in my head that I wanted dark vest/pants combos with three different pastel shirt colors, and after going to nearly EVERY single store in town–I’m not kidding, I think I went to at least 10 stores–I finally pulled it all together at the last minute.  I had to make a few compromises, and Christopher is wearing all hand-me-downs pulled from various places in storage, but they are all in pastel shirts and all in ties!   I would have loved to have girls to put in polka-dot dresses like Laura, but not to be!

 We are having sort-of surprise company tomorrow.  Steven’s sister and brother-in-law are coming up from Wisconsin to spend the week in Dayton with the Shaw parents, but since the Shaw parents are in West Virginia, the Stoeckmann Seven (they now have 5 children under the age of will come over here for the day.   I wasn’t planning on this when I went grocery shopping on Thursday, but I’m glad for the company and we will need help eating the giant ham I bought. 

 The reason for all changes in plans:  Steven’s parents went to WV last week for a little vacation, and as they were about to leave his dad had a heart attack!   They caught it before it did major damage to his heart, but he had to have a stint put in one artery, and to make a long story short, he ended up having two more surgeries this week to put in two more stints.  Steven went over there twice to be with them, and they are hoping to go home in a few days.  It has been a very sobering time for everyone, especially for Steven who realizes he may very well inherit this tendency to heart disease.  He has already been exercising and eating oatmeal, though, so he is on the right track. 

Anyway, my exhortation to you is this: Have a wonderful Easter by worshipping the Lord and rejoicing in His resurrection, and remember this world is not your home–one day we will rise to be with Him in glory!